Creekside Garden

Our boys look at their Daddy and believe he hung the moon and the stars. Caleb wants to do everything Daddy does – shoot bows, fix tractors, and even mimics him on business phone calls. The thing is, God designed children to see their Dad in the way Caleb looks to Ben, because it is the perfect opportunity to point children to the Creator who actually hung the moon and the stars.

If children are taught about God and see him as their Heavenly Father, then we as parents never have to sit on a pedestal we are not worthy of. Point them to the Savior who will never disappoint and who loves them more than you do, and our children will have hope despite our human shortcomings. We don’t have to be god, we don’t have to be perfect, but we do have to be faithful to raise our children to love the Lord and know His word.

Raising children is something many of us are called to do, yet, we will all fail at being perfect parents. I know I have – and I’ve only been a mom for three years. Guilt creeps in and whispers in my ear “You failed. Look at you being impatient and angry, now Caleb will think you don’t love him. And, oh no, you just ruined your children for life.” The lies mix smoothly with facts and pile so high I start to crumble under the pressure. Twisted up within the lies is a strand of truth, I am not good enough. I am going to let my children down. I am going to be an imperfect Mom.

“You failed. You were angry. You don’t xyz. You, you, you.” The enemy’s language is so subtle I didn’t catch it at first. When I dwell on myself, I am not looking to God for wisdom and guidance. The naval gazing is simply pride saying I can do this in my own strength and then when I fail, it is all up to me to fix it. The truth is I can’t raise these babies without the strength of the Lord…. And I believe that is the point. He allows parenthood to break us so that we build up a strong relationship with him. I am not good enough, but He is.

It is a common practice these days to blame our parents for pain and our struggles/temptations. People are desperate to be good parents and to avoid hurting their children in the ways their parents hurt them. This creates pressure to become the mythical “perfect parent” and cultivates trends in the online world, such as the popular “gentle parenting”. The truth is, there is no magic key to becoming a perfect parent, especially from perfectly curated online platforms built on worldly advice. In order to be good parents we need to be in regular fellowship with our Good Father who loves and cares for us more than we will ever understand. Our parents were sinners and their sin ultimately hurt us, we are sinners and our sin will ultimately hurt our children. We must show our children the Perfect Father, who paid the ultimate sacrifice to save them from that sin. Praise the Lord that we know a Savior!

Take a moment to dwell on the wisdom of James 1:2-5:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.“

I know I lack wisdom. I don’t know how to potty train, I don’t know how to teach children to read and write, I struggle to not be frustrated by crying babies and rebellious three year olds. There is SO MUCH I don’t know and I need God’s wisdom every day. Thankfully, he gives it generously. I only need to ask.

Parenting can feel like a trial and instead of being thankful for the training ground God has given me to grow my faith, I often whine and complain. I struggle to be thankful at times, much less consider it “Pure Joy” when I don’t get sleep, or the baby is throwing up, and the three year old has run away outside AGAIN. What a blessing that my trials are my greatest blessings. I have no reason to be ungrateful, but this sinful heart of mine groans as my selfishness is exposed and cut away.

I will be honest, I am writing this post for me. I need to hear this, I need to digest this. I DON’T have this figured out. I was simply inspired to share these thoughts here, hopefully to encourage someone else with the lessons I am painfully learning.

I have all the answers I long for, just waiting in my dusty Bible and forgotten prayers.

Thank the Lord for a new day tomorrow.